(originally posted by Jerry Buchmeyer, 1981)
Last Will and Testament of Herman Oberweiss Offered for Probate at the
June 1934 Term of he County Court of Anderson County Texas. The will reads:
“I am writing of my will mineself that dam lawyir want he should
have too much money, he ask too many answers about the family. First thing
I want I don’t want mine brother Oscar get a G--D---- thing I got.
He is a mumser. He done me out of forty dollars 14 years since.
"I want it that mine kid sister Hilda get the North Sixtie Akers
of at where I am homing it now. I bet she don’t get that gonoph
husband of her to brake 20 akers next plowing. She can’t have it
if she lets Oscar live on it, I want I should have it back if she does.
"Tell Mamma that $600 she been looking for ten years is buried from
the backhouse behind about 10 feet down. She better let little Frederich
do the dig ging and count it when he comes up.
“Pastor Lucknitz can have $300 if he kisses the book he won’t
preach no more dumhead talk about politiks. He should a roof put on the
meeting house and the elder should the bills look at.
"Mamma should the rest get, but I want it so mine brother Adolph
should tell her what not she should do so no more slick Irishers sell
her vakom cleaners. They noise like hell and a broom don’t cost so much.
“I want it that mine brother Adolph be my execter and I Want it
that the ludge please make Adolph Plenty bond put up and watch him like
hell. Adolph is a good business man but only a dumkopf would trust him
with a busted pfenning.
“I want dam sure that schliemiel Oscar don’t nothing get,
tell Adolph he can have a hundred dollars if he proves judge, Oscar don’t
nothing get. That dam sure fix Oscar.
SIGNED: Herman Oberweiss"
NOTE: This will was proven to be a fake many years after it was written.
However, the Anderson County Clerk receives countless requests for a copy
and many lawyers still believe it is real.
This is one of the funniest Wills I have seen...This guy did not like his brother Oscar at all!
|
By
Jim Dossey
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